damn

I can sum up the past 5 1/2 years of my life in 2 words learning experience. It's done ..for real.. finally over.. I am taking it for what it was and moving on with my life. Sometimes it feels like a waste of time but I wouldn't change anything. I did everything I could to try and keep it together but at the end of the day I learned that you can't make anyone love you and you can't change people. I saw the signs but I believed his words. I now know the real meaning of actions speak louder than words. Everything he was doing was telling me that he wasn't into me but he kept me around with his words. I haven't spoken to him in exactly 2 weeks that is the longest that I have ever gone without talking to him.. Sure I wanted to text him and call him and possibly even stalk him but I didn't I know as much as it sucks that this is how things have to be. I deleted him from facebook removed his phone number from my contacts deleted every email he has ever sent me and finally I put everything and I mean everything that he has ever given me in a big box and I put it away.. forever this time. I will admit it I am sad. But not as sad as I was when I was with him. Isn't that weird? I thought I would be a mess and at times i was it's difficult to go from talking to someone every morning to nothing, but I am ok.. I am more than ok. I have accepted the fact that he for whatever reason does NOT want to be with me. And that's ok. I am finally getting my life back. I am not sitting at home waiting for a phone call or trying to figure what he's thinking or trying to make plans with someone who DIDN'T GIVE A SHIT. I realize that he will one day figure out what it is that he wants but only when he meets someone else it was never going to happen with me. I really hope he does meet someone and I hope that he happy. And maybe one day when everything has healed we can be friends. I don't know seems like a weird thing to say now but anything is possible.